CONFIDENTIALITY

The stories, ideas, plans, and emotions of other sisters expressed here are confidential, without exception. If we desire to retell or share a sister’s story, or share about her ideas, we may only do so with her permission.

GIVING & RECEIVING REFLECTION

When someone is sharing and we feel called to offer a reflection, unless they have explicitly requested a reflection, let us do our best to first ask “May I offer you a reflection?” If it feels like the reflection may be difficult to take in, let us also ask how gently or firmly she would like to receive it.

If we are triggered, let us hold our reflections until we are able to work through our own trigger.

Let us be courageously willing to give and receive the reflections of our sisters, and let us courageously feel the love and care that underlie those reflections.

CONFLICT, CHALLENGE, OR TRIGGER

When we circle in sacred space for a length of time, it is common that we will begin to consciously and unconsciously work out some of our unhealed wounding with one another. If a conflict, challenge, or trigger arises, let us first regard it as an opportunity to grow within ourselves, being curious about what patterns we may be playing out with our sister. The out-picturing is often a reflection of a familiar movie scene in our lives, that we have unconsciously cast a sister to play a role in.

Once we have recognized any of our own patterns, if it is necessary to work it out with this sister, let us approach her in the spirit of linking arms and facing the conflict or challenge together. If we share our triggers, let us also do so in the spirit of linking arms. Let us not gossip about the challenge, but rather seek counsel from Nisha, Dawna or Annana if necessary. Let us not enforce a victim-perpetrator narrative. Let us resist any urge to be right and make wrong. Let us resist any urge to teach each other a lesson. Let us resist any urge to shame or blame. Let us resist any urge to create barbed-wire boundaries. Let us resist any urge to punish.

Let us show up in the true sovereignty of the undefended heart, in service of our individual and collective healing. Let us be fully committed to leaning in and healing any ruptures and returning to love and connection. Let us be gentle with one another.  Let us commit to healing our own unhealed or unintegrated trauma in our lives, as a powerful and necessary journey in our path of service.

If this is challenging, let us imagine that we are on an island together and there is nowhere to hide and nowhere to send those we are challenged with. The only choice, then, is to be together and heal together.

ENCOURAGEMENT, ACKNOWLEDGMENT, AND CELEBRATION

Women rise in celebration. Let us do our best to shine the light of encouragement, acknowledgment, and celebration of one another.

LEANING IN

We agree to be responsible for requesting what we desire, while also releasing attachment to receiving it in a particular way, owning our desires as our own.

OFFERING OUR GIFTS

It is up to each of us to manage for ourselves what we have the bandwidth for, with our own time and energy, and to tend those boundaries with care. This means that we can always offering a loving “no” if we cannot meet the request of a sister for our time or wisdom. If a sister is requesting our time or wisdom to a degree that is more in-line with a client/guide relationship (example: website or graphic design, longer term coaching, etc), we can make that invitation to enter into an agreement field that is separate from our mastermind. However, we agree not to solicit the community as clients. The distinction here is that we can respond to a request, rather than solicit.  And, we are always free to freely give and freely ask for whatever feels in alignment with us.

MAINTAINING A FIELD OF LOVE & CARE

Let us soften towards one another with love, gentleness, and care. When we have lost our capacity to do so, let us return to the womb of silence until we can connect in love.

INTEGRITY WITH OTHER AGREEMENTS

We agree to maintain integrity within the agreements that we create with Nisha, within the circle, and with our individual sisters.   

RELEASE OF DEMAND FOR PERFECTION

We are human and will make mistakes. In our attempts to do our best with ourselves, our families, our work, and with one another, we will make missteps and at times fall off our throne. To demand perfection from ourselves or one another – holding onto shame, withholding love or care, or withholding forgiveness – is to reinforce the same patriarchal narratives that keep women feeling small, silent, and powerless. Let us seek out the places within ourselves and one another that demand perfection or withhold love and soften those places of mistrust. Let us forgive ourselves and one another.

AGREEMENT TO BE HELD TO OUR AGREEMENTS

We are agreeing to be held to return to these agreements, and uphold them. If at any time we need to add to or update our agreements, the request will be first brought to Nisha then agreed to within the circle before we act outside of our existing agreements.

I will root for your success and joy, and see your wins as my own.

When I am jealous or envious, I will seek to access gratitude for the inspiration you offer, remembering that there is enough for everyone.

I will see your innate beauty, brilliance, power and capability, even when you can’t see it in yourself. I will reflect it back to you when you need reminding.

I will listen to your desires and encourage your courage.

Sisterhood supports sovereignty. I will not attempt to fix you because you are not broken. Instead, I will see your wholeness and support you from the understanding that you are wise and capable. You’ve got this, and we’ve got you.

I will put my ear to your heart and listen carefully when I am with you, even if my mind is noisy. Hearing you will be part of my spiritual practice.

I will seek to stay present and grounded when you are expressing uncomfortable emotions. I will ask how I can support you.

I will stand in the truth that vulnerability is a sign of strength.

I will not share your secrets or speak badly of you to others.

I will recognize that the things I judge in you are showing me the places I hold a lack of compassion, and are access points to deeper healing within me.

I will honor our friendship as valuable, no less than the other relationships in my life.

I will seek to make time for you, even when I think I am too busy.

When you share things about your life, I will not make them about me or my life. We are each on our own journey.

As we move through different stages of our life, I will appreciate the unique gifts you bring to our relationship.

I will not claim any ownership over you, and will seek to celebrate new friendships and relationships in your life.

I will honor that our relationship may change over time, and regardless of how much we’re communicating, I will wish you well.

If I am upset with you, I will be accountable for my own feelings, and will recognize that my emotional triggers are access points to self-love.

I will constantly deepen in love and compassion towards myself, and invite you to do the same.

Instead of closing my heart to you when I am upset, I will open my heart, even when it’s hard. I will tend to my own self-care and create the space I need for myself.

I will communicate my needs and desires without attachment to you fulfilling them.

If I am used to struggling in silence, I will practice reaching out in the spirit of not being sad alone. I will trust that this is not a burden to you, but rather a gift for all of humanity. I will allow sisterhood to be my salve, and will invite you to do the same.

I will take responsibility for my own life, asking for support when I need it but not holding expectations of you. I will give both of us room to make mistakes, and be messy and imperfect.

If I am fearful of connecting with women, I will not turn that fear into a judgment of all women.

I will honor that there are many ways to express as a woman. I will celebrate your unique expression.

I will honor that we are all “real women”, no matter what our shape or size.

I will not make your age, weight gain, weight loss, relationship status, fertility, sexuality, choice to have children or not, successes or struggles mean anything about you or me.

I will honor that girls are not less than women, and that all ages have great wisdom to bring to the world. Every age is beautiful and can be challenging.

I will have compassion for and speak kindly of all women and girls, and see all as my sisters.

I will have compassion for and speak kindly of men and boys. We are all having a human experience, finding our way.

I will stand beside my sisters and brothers, never against men, as we are all one.

I will be gentle with your heart, seeing you through eyes of love.

I will be gentle with the hearts of the people you love.

I will care.

As we gather in sisterhood, we come home.

Together, we weave a tapestry of love.

Our grandmothers conspired for this moment.